...And We're Back

That's right, the Swog is back. It's a new season, and I know all of you missed my high school humor and super duper wit. Plus, I couldn't stay away, blogging is an addiction. Not like crack er nothin, that's gross and really bad for you (I hear). It's more like being addicted to the Orange Chicken at Panda Express. I mean, that shit is really good. I tell myself I don't need it, but I'm just foolin myself. Of course I do.

Maybe they sprinkle the crack into the sauce!

And you know what else? I need to blog. I need to talk about the Wizards, the NBA, and every once in a while, really dumb shit that bothers me, and every other once in a while when I'm not blogging about shit that bugs me, I'll talk about hot cheerleaders. Everybody loves hot cheerleaders. But the Wizards played a game last night, first one of the season, and I made sure to watch every second. What follows is an almost true account of what transpired.

I ate a burrito during the second quarter. It was good. It was during this time the Wizards started to play particularly well. Or so it seemed. The first quarter had been filled with some made 3's and a couple 18 footers to go along with our 3-10 shooting under the rim. After such a poor performance, I felt like some guacamole was necessary. Some hot sauce too. So I opened the little hot sauce container, unrolled my burrito and proceeded to pour said hot sauce onto said burrito. Same with the guac. Now comes the re-wrap. During this time, EJ was throwin some spicy chicken at his players, explaining to them that they need to get to the rim. Maybe it wasn't spicy chicken. But
I found some on my shorts so I figured it had to have been him. Whatever he said to (or threw at) them, it worked, because the 2nd quarter was mucho better. Blatche calmed down, ET stopped trying to look for shots and became a facilitator, and Jamison actually HIT a 3-pointer (his first and only of the game). Although the Wizards were only up by two at this point, they were doing a much better job defending in the paint, allowing only 2 baskets on 5 attempts. You do know why, right? It was my burrito. Burrito-power. But anyway, I was about half-way through my burrito when half-time rolled around but I was pretty stuffed, so I decided to take a burrito break.

And you can too. Please take 2 minutes and 31 seconds of your time to learn the history of the word burrito from my favorite schoolteacher and yours, Hot For Words.



...I didn't know either, don't feel bad.

So back to the game. When the second half began, so too did the reconquest of my burrito. But something didn't look right in the 3rd quarter. Maybe it was that our 2nd basket didn't come until 6:09 in? Or maybe it was that the first had been nearly 5 minutes prior? Perhaps it was the guacamole/bean/burrito juice on my shorts? Or maybe it was the Nets' 6-7 shooting inside the paint. Nah, it was probably Jamison's 4 missed 3-pointers. It definitely was not the rumble in my stomach screaming Hibachi! (In fact, it was a slow mumble, something like "doooooop" or "chuuuuute", I couldn't tell). Whatever it was, it was sucking. But my burrito was still good, so I hadn't lost hope. It's the first game of a LONG season, and we were playing the Kifferson-less Nets (ahhh, but you say they themselves were playing the Areewood-less Wizards, and you would be correct, and I would hate you for it). But seriously folks, what happened? We seemed to have a plan in the first half, and in the 2nd, everything seemed to not work. But what was worse, was when plays didn't work, everyone would stand around and wait for whomever had the ball to do something. I think I saw MAYBE 3-4 cuts through the lane when plays stopped working. I will say this. JaVale McGee can friggin rebound. And block too. I swear, you could tie sheets to that dude's arms and legs and para-glide his ass all the back to Barcelona. We missed all 7 shots around the arc on the right side of the court and only made 2 on the left side. Although they went 4-7 inside the paint, the Nets simply dominated the 3rd quarter. But you know what? I'm used to that. The Wizards wouldn't be the Wizards if they didn't slack off in the third quarter after playing a particularly good half. So I continued watching. And eating. (Yeah, it's a large burrito, so what?).


1/1000000 scale

The 4th quarter was not much better. 4-11 from the field, 1-5 behind the arc, 14 total rebounds and -386 assists. We got close, but in the end, that VC 3-pointer sealed the deal. I was upset. My burrito was gone, the Wizards had lost their season opener, at home no less, and soon, I was gonna have to make a trip to the bathroom real soon. I simply HAD to read the newest Maxim. I know it's a very long season, and truthfully, I think the Wizards played well, they are simply rusty. I wish EJ could figure out a way around that, cause it seems like it happens every year. We overcame a rough start last year, but I didn't wear my jersey and I couldn't even attend this year, so it HAS to be different.

Overall, I like McGee. I liked him when I saw him in Vegas at Summer League and in pre-season, and I liked that EJ had enough confidence to put him in tonight. Dee Brown made some nice passes, but I'm still undecided. He was ok at Summer League, but not great. I'll be happy when Gil is back. Juan Dixon wasted 5 possessions by chucking up shots, only going 1-4 from the field and o'fer 2 from behind the arc. I would have liked to see DMac in the game a bit more. I know he's not a scorer, but he always seems to have a positive affect when he's on the floor (I will prove this, one day). Jamison needs to either hit 3's or stop taking them, one or the other. He was ice cold tonight. As a team, we need to pass more. The 18 assist total simply will not cut it. We rarely win when the assist total is under 20. Committing 15 turnovers and going 37% from the field didn't help either. But like I said, I'm not worried (yet). I've got plenty of time to worry before Gil comes back.

It was fun speaking to you all again. I hope you enjoyed my burrito as much as I did. Now I have to go recycle it.

"When Life Gives you Lemons you Paint that Sh*t Gold"

Thank you Atmosphere for naming your album with such a pertinent saying, I need it for this blog post! (Side note: got a BWD last Saturday, Blogging While Drunk. It was just a warning this time, but it can get you in some real trouble, like fired).

When I originally watched game 2, everything blurred together and all I remembered was that we played a terrible (insert Charles Barkley impression here) game. I didn't remember playing well at all but I couldn't put my finger on exactly why we were SO bad. I mean, I know they weren't hitting any shots, and that was part of the problem, but what else?

So I re-watched Game 2 last night, and this time, I took notes. Some examples:

• Missed layup
• Wide open Wally
• Gil misses long shot with 24 on the shot clock
• Gil bad shot
• 2-6 FT @ 1:35 in 1st
• Gil loses ball
• Missed layup
• Bad shots
• No passing
• Haywood ejected

There were lots of others in between, even some good ones like good rotations on D, but for pretty much the entire game, the offense was stagnant. Like. Real, real, real bad. I think for about 5 minutes in the 1st quarter we moved the ball, but after that time we simply settled for jump shots or missed easy layups. We stopped moving the ball, we stopped cutting to the basket and we stopped trying to establish any kind of position near the rim. If some of our more open looks had gone in, things would have been a little different, but they weren't, and our guys should have adjusted. Instead, Caron, Jamison and Arenas all decided they were gonna be the one to fix it. They took turns putting their head down, driving the lane and missing layups, sometimes getting a foul (but then missing the free throws). I can't put into words how much I hate seeing players with the Michael Jordan syndrome trying to take over the game by not passing, not spreading the floor, not play TEAM ball. In cases like that, EJ has been able to fix things by slowing down the offense to encourage passing, but this time, nothing worked, and then Haywood was out and the game was over. What I saw in Game 2 was a lack of ball movement, bad shot selection, ok not great D, poor free throw shooting, poor ball control and what I think may have been the worst part, a lack of cohesiveness.

This entire year, our team has played as a TEAM. They shared the ball, helped on D, and had the will to win as a team. What I saw in Game 2 was not the same Wizards team I've seen all year. Now, I know people don't want to point to Gil as the reason, and I'm certainly the last one to NOT want to see him in this series, but at this point, how is he helping? Hear me out.

He has shot poorly this series. So has Deshawn. Now I know, we ALL know, that Stevenson is a streaky shooter, but I think the fact that Stevenson is getting different minutes than he's been getting all year, his game is off. Simple as that. I think if you leave him in for his regular mintues, he starts hitting shots. Gil was unable to close in the end of Game 1 and also has a sprained wrist that affects his shooting (he finished 2-10). His turnovers are up and he's not passing when he needs to. All this considered, and I'd say Gil doesn't necessarily need to play. I'm not saying sit him out, I'm saying don't use him unless you have to. The Wizards without Arenas made it into the Playoffs, I honestly believe that we can beat the Cavs without him if we had to. But since we do have him, let's be smart. Let's beat them like we beat teams during the regular season. I don't know where it may be right to use Gil at this point, but EJ is a smart guy, and I think he could find a role.

Game 1 was a tough loss. Game 2 was an aberration. You know what they say...

When life gives you lemons.....you paint that sh*t gold (and dunk it in their MOTHERF#*%'N faces).

When I watch this game on TV later tonight, I want to feel the energy though the screen. I'm serious. All you people goin to the game better yell as loud as possible. Because you gotta believe...

We got this.

Guess Who's Back?

Yup.

Second, ouch. Losing a game like that sucks.

Mr. "not playin tonight" played last night. I'm happy he did. But here's the thing. See, I probably should have known better, but I believed him. As such, I proceeded to skip the game live and watch it on DVR later. But then I ended up at a bar watching the Mavs/Warriors game. Well, you know that they couldn't let that bit of news just go unmentioned during that broadcast. Sure, I probably shouldn't have been watching that game if my goal was to remain clueless about the Wizards until later. I was a little disappointed, cause I was really looking forward to watching him re-enter the game live. I was gonna bust out the jersey and everything. Gil man, that was a little un-cool, but it's ok, cause you hit your first three shots out the gate, so we're cool.

I did watch some of the game later, but since I had already seen replays of the finish, it made it a little tough to sit through the whole thing. I watched Gil's entrance, most of the 2nd quarter and the last few minutes of the 4th. Check out the GameFlow from PopcornMachine, my man Gil was a -8 for the night. That was the largest negative value last night. Now, I'm not saying that it's not understandable, but it is something to take notice of. The team was playing well without him, and it's important that he doesn't mess up the flow. Also on the GameFlow you'll see that the Wizards dominated the whole game, except for the very end, which makes this loss all the more frustrating. That brings me to my next point...

The Wizards need the win vs Miami. We simply cannot afford to fall any farther in the standings. Sure, it's a three-way tie and we own the series on Toronto, but Philly owns the series on us and need to be in a better position before we actually play them. At least, I think so.

Hat tip to BulletsForever, who called it on Gil's ploy last night.

One more thing I am not going to talk about (yet) because it would be all speculation are potential injuries to Stevenson and Jamison. As of midnight on the West Coast, this was BF's latest, via Ivan Carter.

Random Ramblings - March 31

• If you haven't heard, Gil said last night that he'd take a pay cut in order to allow the Wizards to re-sign Jamison. Gilbertology has the quotes. Adande over at ESPN goes on to quote an anonymous source (Ernie G. anybody???) stating that the Wizards are responsible for taking care of ALL their franchise players and goes on to say the organization is authorized to go within $1 of the luxury tax threshold. ONE DOLLAR?!?!?! You cannot run an NBA team like a 99 cent store Abe. I understand you do not want to go over the limit, but you think maybe you can look at the situation before you go making rules like that. The least you could do is give the typical, "We'll see where we're at at the end of the season."
• In a bit of DC related new, Pres. Bush gets booed throwing out the first pitch at the new Nationals stadium.
• Apparently, the Wizards do not have any "ankle-busters". Shame. Still fun to watch.
• Save Stevenson's beard! Personally, Deshawn, I say bust out some Rec Specs.

• CelticsBlog has some nice things to say about the Wizards and gives 5 reasonably good reasons (reasonably good reasons....yeah...that sounds right) why you should watch the Eastern conference playoff race.
• My new favorite non-basketball related blog: Stuff White People Like. Here's a good one on San Francisco. If you're bored at work (you are, or you wouldn't be reading this) or you've completed your task of finding a vaccine for malaria (or AIDS, or whatever), I highly suggest wasting...AHEM...spending some quality time on that blog.
• Doc Rivers sits next to Pat Riley at the G'town/Davidson game and humanity spirals towards the apocalypse. Not really. (Hockey assist to TrueHoop).
• I watched, for the first time since I've been here, a home Laker broadcast. I noticed a couple of things. First, their dancers are hot. That's expected. Second, the Phil Jackson interview before the game, which the announcers dubbed "Philosophy 101" (lame name, couldn't they come up with something better...like "Zen-Ball-Talk" or "Jackson on Jackson"?) was actually not the worst pre-game interview I've seen. Phil actually answered questions with direct responses and didn't seem TOO upset about being interviewed before the game. By the way, that name, "Phil Jackson." Look at it for a second. If you met a Phil Jackson in grade school, wouldn't you picture him being the lame ass fat kid eating a cupcake in the corner of the cafeteria? I would.

• Last but not least, Jamison is STILL #2 in the league in adjusted +/- according to BasketballValue.com. Sure, he's doing more awesome because Gil is out (thank you 9th grade English). But really, isn't it EASIER to be better when Gil is in (more open looks, etc)? So really, Jamison has dominated as the primary threat. Throw Butler and an un-injured Hibachi to the mix and I'd say you have a championship caliber team. Yeah. I said it.
  

Gil Out 3 Months

I realize the news broke yesterday, but like most Americans, I was traveling and my mobile blogging stuff wasn't setup correctly (aka, I was sleeping on the train). Anyway, as soon as I read it (and here, and here) I sighed a big, long, sigh. Granted, we won 3 games without Gil, but this hurts. Just when we thought we might get him back, BAM! I am sure he is just as frustrated as we all are, especially since he's also dealing with a breakup.

But I have confidence in Gil and in this team. The Agent will work to get back in shape, and he will do it right this time. The knee injury at the end of last year was his first real injury (disregarding his rookie season), so he probably didn't know how hard, or not hard, he should go. Since Gil is Gil, he went hard. I just hope that it is really fixed this time and when he comes back, he comes back for good.

All us Wizards fans need to stick by him and this team to make sure we can stay afloat and keep winning games. We have a very strong bench, one that will surely be able to help us win some games. The upcoming road trip with games against Dallas and San Antonio is going to be tough, but hey, it was gonna be tough anyway.

I hope everyone had a fantastic turkey day. Gil will be back. The Wizards will make the playoffs. It will happen. Are you ready?

GilTV Videos for the Gil2Zeros

Here are some super fantastic awesome videos from Gil advertising his new shoes (check out GilTV). Got these from Wizznutzz:

Black President:


Hibachi: Cooking with Gil


Shrimp or Lobster?

The best one, in my opinion, as Gil takes on a Lobster 1 on 1 is...

Gil Island, Cuba Shoe:

Arenas Isn't Backing Off

There are some people out there who seem to think Arenas is backing off his prediction that they are going to be the C's tonight. Granted, he said in his very own blog in a section titled, "Prediction Time," that,

"You guys are going to lose. It's not going to be a victory for Boston. You might as well just cheer for me, because Boston isn't winning in Boston for the season opener. I'm sorry."

When is a player ever going to come out and say that they are going to lose, or that they are going to have a tough time tough time with a given team? Does that ever happen? We all know there are players out there that talk a bit more than others, Rasheed, GP, etc., but I don't think any player would ever take a position any less swag-tastic than the one Gil took. Every player in the NBA wants to win all the time. If they didn't, then they shouldn't be in a Professional basketball Association.

What Gil did by stating,

"...when you look at that Celtics team, that’s a powerful team … on paper. Once those guys get going, you’re in trouble. You can’t guard that team … on paper."

is acknowledge that it won't be easy. I could even take it one stop further and say that by saying this, he is preparing himself for the win. He knows it won't be easy, but that is what makes success that much sweeter. Being able to beat the Big 3 of the C's, at home, on their opening night, is exaclty the kind of motivation Gil needs (beating the Pacers would have been nice, just sayin). They absoultely DOMINATED the headlines until this Kobe garbage came out. If it isn't plainly obvious by now that Gil loves attention...and that stealing headlines is a favorite pasttime....c'mon, don't you see? Gil thrives off the doubters and the non-believers. When he comes out and says that they are going to beat the Celtics and then acknowledges that they have a great team, which happens to include the great KG, that is ALL the same message. He isn't changing course, he is reaffirming his stance that they are going to beat them, and you know what? I believe him. After all, His Swag IS Phenomenal. Go Wizards!

Hibachi on Mild

Did the Agent known as Zero hit a spectacular 3 pointer to get the Wizards to overtime? Absolutely, and I loved it. Would the Wizards have been in that position if they had hit a few more of their free throws? Probably not. Hitting a couple more from the field wouldn't have hurt ither. As mentioned by Dave at the Washington Wizards blog, "36% [from the field] will not win games...". I couldn't agree more. The shooting was pretty horrendous. They actually ended the night with a True Shooting percentage of about 44.9%, not exactly NBA caliber. The Wizard with the hightest TS% was none other than Haywood, who finished the night with 10 points, going 4-8 from the field and hitting half of his 4 free throws (team TS% last night). Not exactly surprising given the absence of an interior defender on the Pacers, but when Haywood is our most efficient scorer, we aren't going to win a lot of games. Still, this was the first game of the season but it wasn't pretty. With O'Neal out, the Wizards should have had a 12 point lead throughout the game. Even after Gil hit that shot, I didn't feel like the tide had turned. My feelings were confirmed when shot after shot fell off the rim as OT slipped by. Even Jamison, who finished 27 points behind Gil's 34 was clanking them all night long. Dunleavy's 3 at the end absolutely put the nail in the coffin, and just like that, the Wizards start off right were they were last year, losing on the road. I hope that is where the similarities end.

Before I end this post, I want to talk about the defense. I noticed that we were having a problem with that 3rd or sometimes 4th swtich to get to the open guy on the wing. Blatche seemed to be sticking to his assignment pretty well and helping when he was supposed to and Stevenson was his usual self until banging that knee, but I didn't see a lot of great defense from anyone else on the team. Yes, we had our moments of some great team D, but we need to be more consistent. The Pacers seemed to be able to find the open man almost at will. Then when we started collapsing to stop the outside shots, the middle was left wide open, espeically toward the end of the game where we really needed a stop. If Marquis Daneils is able to drive on us, what are the Celtics going to do on Friday night? Like I said, I saw some hints of great D, I would just like to see it more often.

Now, about the Celtics. We need Haywood to come out real strong. KG is gonna get his points and he's gonna get his boards, but if we can get even 12-10 from the big guy, and our shooting gets better, we can take the game in Boston and spoil the homecoming.